Therapy is all about processing emotions. My second step to resolving conflict is to process information with your partner as quickly as possible. Communicate feelings and emotions related to the issue quickly and effectively. Try not to push things under the rug to discuss at a later date. “Swept up” emotions will lead to future resentments. We have all been there: “I’ll just let this one go to avoid a fight.” And maybe sometimes this is a good thing. However, more often than not, what you thought you let go of ends up in the next fight. This leads me to the third step to resolving conflict, stay with the subject. Process one issue at a time. If we try to bring up every unresolved issue, it becomes overwhelming and one or both of you will shut down. Instead of having a discussion about helping more with the children, you end up fighting about him drinking too much at your sister’s Christmas party. Two years ago. Subject lost.
Natalie Nesbitt, MS, LPC, loves working with couples! Helping them find the passion in their relationship; remove blocks that are keeping them from being their best; learning to have a marriage they have only dreamed. Providing personalized couples therapy and life counseling at her private psychotherapy practice in Paoli, Pennsylvania, conveniently located on the Main Line. She has helped countless couples save their marriages and/or relationships and come back from the deepest of betrayals.
Another excellent blog entry! Hard to remember all these things in the heat of the moment- haha
You are absolutely right! Thanks for the comments 🙂